To Have and To Hold
by Kavi Leighanna
Summary: YEARS SERIES - AJ's Tale - Twins, school, family, and a wedding. It's too much for AJ, but what does that mean for Vaughan and the twins?
1. Chapter 1

_OKAY! For those of you following Chris' Tale, you guys kind of knew this was coming. I've been having problems with Chris' thing so I've vaguely moved on. And by that I mean I've been picking away at this one for a while, just in bits and pieces. I think it'll have 15 or 16 chapters when it's done, but I'm not totally sure._

_So, fans of this series know how this works. This is AJ's. I've been picking away at it. It's in the same writing style as the Recovery series, so we're looking at short chapters that only cover bits and pieces. It's 2 weeks out of time. _

_Like this, for example. This is __**AJ's Tale**__. Refresher course: Anna-Joy Hotchner, born in 2013, is the oldest biological child of Emily Prentiss & Aaron Hotchner. The last two characters you should be intimately familiar with. Or mostly. And probably the first one too, 'cause AJ's been around a lot. I shouldn't have favourites, but I'm pretty sure she's mine. For the record:_

_Hotchners: Em married Hotch. A million years ago in this universe. Considering this isn't a Hotchner family story, I'm going to kind of leave it at that in terms of what the family's gone through. They have 3 kids and Jack. In chronological order: Jack, AJ, Kate, Seth._

_Reids: JJ and, well Reid. Spencer. Three kids, in chronological order, Calleigh, Nate, Eric. Same as above holds true. The family stuff is irrelevant to you at this point because it's not a story that's going to be heavily Reid involved._

_Garcia-Morgans: Penelope and Derek. Two kids, Gabi (who married Jack after essentially being in love with him her whole life) and then this guy, Chris. This _is_ a Garcia-Morgan story, but I'm going to leave the rest up to you guys to piece together. That's half the fun, to see if I can make sense of everyone without you guys getting too confused._

_Otherwise, check the profile page. All of the stories in the series are listed in chronological order with links so you don't have to go searching through to find them. For the record, and fair warning if you've never read them before, there are errors, but this series is REALLY long and I'm not going back to fix them right now. I know they're there, I promise!_

**. . . . .**

**Chapter 1 – Monday (Part I)**

"Mom… Mom, I don't think I can do this anymore."

A handful of words from her eldest daughter and Emily's radar's on full alert. When AJ had called in a panic half an hour ago – tears and all – Emily had assumed the emotional upheaval was just AJ's way of handling overwhelming emotion. Her daughter internalizes, she always has, and then she explodes. So Emily had figured that it wouldn't take more than forty-five minutes to calm her down, reassure her and send her on her way. An hour, tops, if things were getting really out of hand.

But this?

Never in a million years would she have expected this.

Because the tremor in AJ's voice is one of defeat. She's been pushed to her limit and though the whole family has known she's been breaking for a while, the absolute desolation in her daughter's tone makes her think that maybe they should have been watching more carefully.

"Honey," Emily says, careful and aware there are delicate eggshells here. "Where's Vaughan."

"At work."

Shocker. The poor boy's working too much. She of all people understands family pressure, but sometimes the Cliffs are just ridiculous. Well, most of them. Emily does genuinely like Vaughan's mother, Tenley. But the woman would never stand up to her husband. So while Vaughan is off playing dutiful son – a role everyone in the BAU family knows he hates – AJ's left at home to play mom and domestic goddess. Emily knows she's behind on her classes because two infants are difficult to handle. She had a hard time with AJ when she was first born, but to have two?

"Have you called him?"

"Mom, there's no point. He can't come home."

Won't, but Emily's not going to say that. The idea that AJ doesn't blame Vaughan, that she doesn't resent him or hate him for how much he is working is also a point. Her daughter's always been very good at putting blame where it should be rather than the easy place.

"Mom." AJ's voice breaks, shatters really. A sob floats over the line.

Emily knows what this is. She knows this is The Breakdown, the one they've almost been anticipating for weeks, though hoped against. She heads out of the bedroom and into the office where Aaron's pouring over some report. Or maybe a paper. God, she stopped paying attention, but that's irrelevant.

"We're in the car, Honey," she says, glad when Aaron just stands. There are questions in his eyes, but he doesn't ask any of them, just ushers her down the stairs. She's never been happier for the mild April weather as she slips on flats. They don't need coats, so they rush to the car, Aaron taking the time to lock up behind them.

"Annie, we're getting in the car right now. We'll be there in twenty minutes. Do you hear me?"

"In the car. Twenty minutes." It's a code they developed when Jack started heading out at all hours, a way to ensure that they're not only heard but understood, especially when the elder children were in charge of the younger ones for a night. None of their children ever complained, but it was the best way to ensure things penetrated and stuck.

She knows Aaron's panicking beside her as he starts the car, but his face is blank. Her voice is that steely calm he hates because he knows the other emotions underneath. Almost thirty years of marriage and he _knows_ what goes on in her head. He glances over at her when she hangs up.

"AJ's," she tells him softly. "This is it, Aaron."

Ah. The panic attack. The breakdown. She sees the realization speed across his face. He knows what's going on, what they're going to face. And he hates it as much as she does.

Emily's already got her key out when they pull into the driveway of their daughter's Georgetown home. It looks as well kept as ever, and even the first floor looks okay. She climbs the stairs, two at a time, Aaron right behind her. He stops at the boys' room, checks inside and smiles when one of them squeals at Grandpa. She nods. He'll watch the boys. She's got AJ.

She finds her daughter curled in a ball on the bed, looking at the tree that blows just outside her window. Emily doesn't hesitate to climb up with her daughter. AJ flips over immediately and curls in, like she'd done when she was a child.

"Mom…"

The sobs come in earnest then, and Emily runs a hand through her hair to quiet her, sooth her. When she's done, Emily slides her fingers under AJ's chin.

"We're going to the cabin," she says, in the tone of voice that commands rather than cajoles. "We're going for a week, maybe two. But we're going AJ. You can't keep doing this."

AJ shakes her head. "I can't-"

"Vaughan will take care of the boys. Kate's on March Break. Gabi and Jack'll pitch in and your father and I can be here most days to look after them. If we can't, we have a whole family to choose from, Annie." She cups her daughter's face. "Sweetheart, you're breaking."

Shattering.

The sobs come again. "It wasn't supposed to be like this," AJ manages between body-shaking sobs. "We were supposed to be happy."

"It's not always that easy," Emily says. She's always raised her children on the premise that nothing is perfect. No one is perfect. Happiness is up to each individual and no one else. Relationships take work, sometimes hard work. Emily knows AJ is aware of all this.

"We're supposed to be getting married Mom. _Married_. We have a family. This is beyond 'not easy'. This is brutal." There's a hiccup. "I love him, Mom, so much but-"

Emily shushes her daughter gently. "We're on our way, sweetheart. We're on our way."

* * *

_I have some continuity issues with this later, I think, so I'm still smoothing out some things, but here's 1! Let me know what you think, yeah?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 – Monday (Part II)**

Vaughan's exhausted.

His father has big plans for him, he understands that, but he feels like he hasn't seen his family in a month. Or maybe it's two months now. Or maybe more. He shakes his head as he unlocks the door and steps into a silent house. Not surprising. It's almost ten. If he's lucky he hasn't missed his sons' mid-sleep feeding. He heads there first, tossing his briefcase and outerwear on the couch as he goes.

His father-in-law is the last person he expects to see rocking one of his sons in the nursery. His heart is immediately in his throat. "What happened?"

Aaron's eyes are solemn. Dark. Agent's eyes. "Emily took her to The Cottage."

The summer home. The Cottage. The place her extended family pooled in on so they could have a retreat. But it didn't make sense. AJ wasn't the type to just up and leave, especially not without her sons. And definitely not without him. At least, not without giving him some sort of warning.

"She finally broke, Vaughan."

He says it like Vaughan should have been looking for it, waiting for it. But Vaughan hasn't seen any signs of a breakdown coming. Sure, she's been juggling a lot, but she'd never complained. Not once. He'd just… assumed everything was okay, that they were at a point where she felt like she could talk to him if she needed him. When she needed him. "She was fine this morning."

"She hasn't been fine for a while," Aaron replies, moving to set the infant in his crib with the ease of practice. He takes Vaughan's shoulder and guides him back out, grabbing the baby monitor off the dresser by the door and closing it behind them. Vaughan let's the older man steer him back down the stairs to the kitchen and into one of the chairs at the island AJ had fallen in love with.

He drops his head into his hands as he hears his father-in-law rummaging in the kitchen. Then a sifter of scotch is being pushed under his nose. It's only a finger, and Vaughan downs it quickly. "Shit."

"You really didn't know."

There's no accusation in the man's tone. It's a statement, but the fact that it is chips at him a little bit more. He knows that AJ's family counts on him now to watch over her, protect her, keep her. He also knows that he's failed. "She never said anything."

"She's not the type to. Not when she's in this deep."

"This deep?"

"School, home, the twins, the wedding, family, you… she's been running herself into the ground."

"I knew she was under stress but…"

Aaron moves around, sits beside him. "Annie's always been stubborn, Vaughan. She's always been so sure she can do everything by herself. Maybe it's because her mother and I were gone a lot when she was a child. Maybe it's because Emily was kidnapped and she needs to show that she can do it all, prove to the world that she's not broken, damaged, hurt. Prove that she can support everyone. And she can't."

"She can't," he agrees vehemently.

Aaron nods, and Vaughan knows that AJ's father knows more than he's letting on. It sucks, because he feels like he's disappointed his own dad and not even known he was doing it. "She says the boys are up three or four times a night."

Vaughan blinks. "What?"

"Brad's got colic. Alex has night terrors. AJ's got scars on her neck from where the little guy scratched into her."

Vaughan hadn't seen _scars_?! God, this isn't making him feel better. It's making him feel worse. It's making him feel like _he's_ run her into the ground.

"What happened?"

Vaughan huffs out a breath, wondering why the man isn't reaming him out. This is his daughter. "My dad happened."

"Your dad?"

"He's got me working at the firm. Twelve to fourteen-hour days. Annie… she hates them. I hate them. But… I didn't think…"

He didn't think. He didn't pay attention. That's the problem here. He's _always_ paid attention to AJ or he wouldn't have her now. And he's not even sure he does. His father had kept him running, running, running, to the point where he's neglected his family. He kept thinking it would die down, but six months in and things haven't changed.

"It's not as bad as you think," Aaron offers. "She's… she just needs some time."

"Time." Vaughan laughs, but it's bitter. "The proverbial 'time'."

It gets a smile out of Aaron. Vaughan's glad for it.

"She loves you, Vaughan. She's not _leaving_."

No, but she has, hasn't she? She's left him with the twins, his work, his father…

"Kate's on March Break. She's going to be by tomorrow by eight for the twins. She's going to hang out until you get home. If it's late, Landon'll come by and get her."

Vaughan's mouth drops. What the hell?

"If Annie needs another week, we'll cross that bridge. Might be Derek or Penelope that comes to stay with the boys. Maybe Seth, Nate or Chris if their schedules aren't too hectic. Jack and Gabi'll probably come by on the weekend to put some order to this place."

"They don't-"

Aaron's look makes his jaw snap shut.

"Vaughan, you have a week, maybe two, to figure things out."

And then what? He wants to ask the question but knows better. He knows that it's not actually a question that's his to ask. But then there's a phone on the granite island top. AJ's cell is already cued up.

"Emily knows you're going to call. So does Annie."

Because he would. Because he doesn't want to be without her. Because he _can't_ be without her.

"Hey."

It is AJ that picks up, and he releases a heavy breath. God, there are tears in his eyes. "Hi."

"How was your day?"

"Long," he admits. He wants to let out a bitter laugh at the idea that she's just had a breakdown, had her mother whisk her away to a cabin in the woods, and yet she's still asking about him first. "You're okay?"

"I'm… okay." He hears her sigh and wonders if that's the first bit of honesty she's actually given him in months. "I should have told you."

Huh. She's farther into this thinking process thing than he'd thought. He wonders how long she's been gone. "I should have been paying attention. I should have known better. I just…"

"Hey, I'm not… _gone_. I'm still here. A phone call away. I don't… I don't want to end us, Vaughan. I just… I want to find me again." He hears her breathe in and out. "So I'm here, if you want to talk, if you've got a question about the boys…"

"I can take care of my sons."

"I know." She has a way that makes it sound like she's _not_ rushing to agree, like she hasn't said anything wrong. And maybe, he realizes, she doesn't think of it that way. She knows he can do it, has faith he can do it. It's never been a question to her and he feels guilt choke his chest again. "You love your family."

He does. So does she and AJ… Well AJ loves with everything, doesn't she? Never any questions, never any blame. And yet she's not here. All that faith and she ran. "We'll be fine."

"Okay." There's resignation there, guilt, and yeah, there's a part of him that's glad she's feeling it. "I'll…I'll call tomorrow?"

"Yeah," he says because he can't go without her and he's not totally sure he can continue this conversation without saying things he'll regret in the morning. He knows that much. "Tomorrow."

"Okay. Tell Dad... tell him thanks."

"I will." He won't. "I love you, AJ."

"I love you, too, Vaughan. I really love you, too."

* * *

_So there's Vaughan's. Most of this right now is his POV. Which is weird, 'cause I'm not male. So I hope I'm doing him justice. If there's a guy out there that has objections to Vaughan's reactions let me know (politely please, I'm totally open to constructive criticism not meanness) and I'll try and smooth him out. _

_Gracias!_

_Meanwhile, let me know? Better than last chapter? The same? Different?_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 - Tuesday**

He breaks the first night.

He'd come home feeling pretty confident about himself. There were no late meetings, nothing he couldn't take care of at home and his father didn't pop in just before he left to tell him about a new case. He managed to escape.

He also managed to escape Kate. She'd asked a million times if he really wanted her to leave, if he was sure he could handle both of the boys by himself. Kate had made it seem easy, simple, and he hadn't had any problems feeding them. He'd been riding a high.

Then it had gone to hell.

He'd slipped Bradley into the crib – they were still small enough to share and AJ had been adamant about some sort of twin bond thing – when he opened his mouth and screamed. Alex had been right on his heels.

And that's where he is now. He's got one son screaming in his crib and the other screaming louder and louder every time Vaughan tries to start rocking. He's losing it. He doesn't know what to do. He reaches out for Bradley when he starts shaking the cribs railing – are babies really supposed to be that strong? – but he turns away, dropping to his rear and screaming louder. Even the boy's Mumum isn't helping. Vaughan wants to pull his hair out. It's been half an hour already!

He'd been so sure and now he feels so useless. Now he sees why AJ broke. This would drive him nuts if he had to do it every night.

AJ.

She's supposed to call today. It's eight and she hasn't. He's not happy about that. She should have called by now, around dinner time, like she always does to…

To tell him to come home. To ask if she wants him to leave something in the fridge.

She doesn't think he's home.

Shit.

And he can't deal with this. He can't deal with the screaming or the sobbing so he does something stupid and drops Alex into the crib with Bradley. The first immediately strikes out at the second and Vaughan releases a growl, reaching in to grip the little wrist.

"No," he says aware his face is thunderous. "We do not hit, Alexander."

There's a beat, and he knows it's all about fear, before they both break into it again. With a heavy sigh, he lifts Alex from the crib and deposits him in the playpen in the living room. Much to his shock, the boy quiets immediately, reaching for a rather squashed looking dinosaur. Bradley, however, is still screaming. He sighs. He'll deal with that in a minute. He's got a call to make.

He's got something to prove.

"Hey," she greets softly. "You on your way home?"

Bingo. God that hurts. "I've been home since six."

"Huh." That's all he gets, though he can hear the million emotions in it clear as day. Then, "Is Brad screaming?"

Vaughan groans. "You can hear?"

"Of course I can. Brad's got a set of lungs."

"Yeah, I'm learning that. I put him down…"

"Did you rock him?"

Vaughan's brow wrinkles. "No."

"Brad's a rocker," AJ says. It's matter-of-fact, no recriminations or subtle accusations. But then she sighs. "Cole's notes, okay?"

"On my sons?"

"On bedtime."

Damn. She's got him there. They both know it's going to be more than that, but she can twist words just as easily as he can.

"Brad's a rocker. Since the day he was born. He won't sleep if he's not rocking."

"At all?"

"At all," AJ agrees. "You know that swing thing Mom and Dad got us?"

He glances over at it, beside the playpen. "Yeah."

"Sometimes, I use that. Depends on how much of a mess they've made at dinner."

"Clean as a whistle."

"Lucky," she says on a bit of a chuckle. "Alex is different. Alex… Look, if you ever get a chance put them on our bed, side by side. Brad's quiet, still. Alex can't stop moving. The kid hums with energy, you can feel it. He hates being rocked. He knows rocking means bedtime and he doesn't like that at all. He likes being part of the action. He _has_ to be part of the action, so he'll fight sleep as long as he can. He usually passes out in the playpen."

"On the dinosaur?"

"Hugging it," AJ agrees with a bit of a laugh.

Vaughan's mouth twitches up, but falls again. "I should know this stuff."

"Yeah." She doesn't mince words. "Do you…. Do you want to try?"

"Try?" he asks, confused.

"Well… there's more than that. Bedtime's just one part. I can tell you about dinner time or the best way to go about breakfast or the key times to get things done."

And here he'd thought her day planner was a joke. He's seen every day planned out to the minute. Literally the minute. It's creepy sometimes. He just assumed it was a bit of a manifestation of he OCD. It scares him that it's what she's had to do.

"Two babies are a lot of work," she says.

"My learning curve is steep."

"It is, isn't it?" There's a smile in her voice, a happy one.

He sighs. "Are you… okay?"

"Yeah," she replies. "It's… quiet. Lonely."

He wonders if it's any worse than home. "Is your mom still there?"

"Yeah. Aunt Pen's coming up tomorrow. Aunt Jen might make it for the weekend. I think Kate and Gabi are planning to try and get up here too."

He swallows. "Is it… Is it helping?"

There's a pause. Admittedly, there's a part of him that's glad she's not rushing into her answer. "I don't know yet."

Bradley lets loose an extra loud scream and Vaughan winces. "Okay. I'm going to go rock my son."

"A foot massage says Alex is out by the time you put Brad down."

"Nah. I don't go for sucker's bets, Mommy."

She sucks in a breath, one that he recognizes as tinged with arousal. It pulls a responsive low chuckle from his throat. Because that's really fair. He wants his fiancée. His soon-to-be wife.

"Don't." Her voice is breathless, pleading. "Please don't."

She's asking him a million things, isn't she? Because if they start something on the phone, they both know it'll be terribly unsatisfying. They both know the pull will be too strong. He promised her time. He can't take it away, not if he wants them back in a good place. And he does with a desperation he's not sure he's ever felt before. And she needs it. Sure, it's a bit selfish, but it's not like he is literally doing it alone.

He knows she loves being a mother. He knows she loves him; that she wouldn't have committed to starting a family if she didn't. She's not the type to just give up after a handful of months either. They were both in such awe when Alex and Bradley were born. Two little people, relying on both of them for food, fun and diaper changes. A family.

And he of all people knows the draws of sex. Sex makes it easy and this… This is everything but.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 – Wednesday**

Kate rings the doorbell the next morning, just as he's trying to juggle Alex into the playpen. He almost drops Brad at the startling noise before giving up and dropping both boys into the playpen. He's pretty sure Alex is three seconds from hitting his brother but right now, he's not sure he cares.

He's tired.

Alex had screamed for two hours and there had been nothing Vaughan had been able to do. Every time he'd gone to put Alex down, he'd screamed again. And that was separate from Brad's restlessness. Combined, Vaughan had managed maybe four hours of sleep and he's right about ready to just leave them screaming tonight. For being siblings, they certainly fight a lot when awake.

"Morning," Kate greets cheerfully.

Vaughan glares. "I hate you."

"You don't." She slips into the house. "How are they?"

"You tell me."

Kate laughs. Actually laughs. Then she turns her attention to the twins. "What's with all the screaming, huh?" she asks, leaning into the playpen to lift Alex into her arms. It's shocking how quickly they quiet.

"How the hell did you do that?" Vaughan groans. "I've been trying to get them quiet all morning. They've been up since five."

"And you?"

"Really depends," Vaughan replies. "Alex and I had a bit of a disagreement on how much sleep I was allowed to get last night, but otherwise, we're good."

"Night terror?"

"Wouldn't let me go."

Kate's brow furrows. "He didn't scratch at you?"

Vaughan shakes his head, taking Alex as he leans precariously out of Kate's grip. "Just gripped my t-shirt like it was contraband. Sometimes I wonder if Alex is really the one with the lungs."

"Then why does he scratch AJ?" Kate inquires as she reaches in for Brad. The boy babbles against his aunt's shoulder, reaching for her necklace. Kate grasps his hand before he can reach it, bouncing him against her hip and chanting softly.

"No idea." Alex whimpers as Vaughan sets him back in the playpen and the father in him stops to lean down, to press his lips to his son's head. He pauses a moment, surprised to find that he really doesn't want to go in. "You going to be okay?"

"We'll be fine. It'll be weird to not have AJ here, but I'm sure we can get along for the day. Is her planner lying around?"

"On her desk."

"Then we'll get along just fine, won't we boys?"

Then Vaughan's leaning in, kissing Brad's forehead. His heart gives an odd tug. It's the first day in weeks he's actually been able to say goodbye properly and he soaks it in. Wanting his sons, wanting this, it's never been a question. If he could have his way, he'd be here every day, for all of this.

He knows he will, one day. One day, he won't be under his father's thumb, he won't be running errands at ungodly hours of the morning or coming in to finish the six case briefs on his desk. Instead, he'll be here, with his wife and his kids.

He just has to get through it. He just has to prove himself.

Yet, there's a sinking feeling in his stomach, one that tells him proving himself is not what he needs to do.

It's too bad he's not quite sure what that is.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 – Thursday**

He sees it when he goes for his watch.

AJ's simple engagement ring is lying on the dresser and he panics.

"Hello?"

"You left your engagement ring. You didn't take your engagement ring."

"Vaughan?"

"You left your engagement ring."

"Jesus, it's three am you idiot! What did your dad call you in for this time?"

"This isn't about me Annie. Your engagement ring is here."

She breathes in and breathes out and he knows she's trying to wake up, trying to pay attention. "Okay. My engagement ring? I have it."

"You can't. I'm looking at it."

"Oh." There's a breathless quality to her voice. "The simple one."

"Yours." He's always considered that her real engagement ring, not the huge gaudy thing he'd been forced into because of his family name.

"Yeah. Vaughan, I have the other one."

"The one you hate because it represents everything we're not?" He's paraphrasing, but she'd told him that once.

She laughs a little. "Yeah. I know it costs more, but that one, the one at home, it means more to me than this one. And things get lost up here, Vaughan, between swimming and the beach… I didn't want to risk losing my ring."

That makes a spectacular amount of sense. "The one you have is insured," he blurts.

"Are we running a scam here, Cliff?" she asks and he can bloody _see_ the raised eyebrow she's giving him. God, three days and he misses her. Terribly. Like an itch under his skin he can't get rid of. He wonders if this is how she's felt for months.

Still, he knows he can't ask her to come home. She asked for time. He can give her that, even if it kills him. Maybe they need it, to reorganize their priorities.

"Just… Just so you don't panic if it goes missing." He shakes his head. "You're wearing that thing?"

"Of course not," she replies. "It's on a chain around my neck. God, Vaughan, it weighs my hand down."

He laughs with her this time.

When they quiet, he can hear her thinking. Then she asks, "Do you really think I would just… walk away."

"No," he answers and it's the truth. "But I didn't think you'd just disappear either. I'm… I'm a little off kilter here."

"Vaughan," she says through a yawn and he smiles. She's so adorable when she does that and he can picture her now, lying in bed, running a hand through her hair. "I'm not leaving. You or the boys. I promise."

It's not her style and he knows that. She fights for her family, for the people she loves but he can't help feeling it. There's nothing he can do about the loneliness or the overwhelming feeling that if he doesn't do things right while she's away, she really will go.

He sighs. "I love you."

"I know you do. That's never been a question."

"Then why aren't you here?"

AJ blows out a breath. Yeah, it is quite the conversation to have at three in the morning but he's tired and cranky and lonely. He wants AJ. He needs AJ. Who else will listen when he rants about his father? Who else knows exactly how he likes his coffee? Who else gets up with him when his dad calls him in, just so that she can say goodbye? AJ is everything to him.

"This isn't your fault, honey," she says quietly. "This didn't happen because of you."

"I work too long. I'm at my father's beck and call."

"And I've never asked you to change," she points out. "Vaughan, I knew things were getting overwhelming. My family knew things were overwhelming. But I didn't want to burden you with anything else. You're under a lot of pressure from your father and while I wish you'd just tell him you have other priorities, I also know how important his approval is to you."

"That makes me sound insane."

She chuckles softly. "You are. But that's okay."

"How do you know all this? I feel like I'm flailing about, learning new things about you every day when you can read me like a book."

"Because I've had people telling me these things for years," she admits. "I'm independent, and I'm strong, but I'm also dangerously internal sometimes. I don't like burdening others with my problems when they have problems of their own, even if I'm supposed to. I always feel like I should be able to do it on my own and when I can't, I just push myself harder. And then, well, we get this."

"I've been with you for years. This is the first time-"

"School's not the same," she cuts him off. "I've always been able to balance school. And you. But now we've got these two little lives that need feeding and changing, coddling and cuddling and somehow through all of that I have to fit in laundry, my own school work, the things we do with my family and your family and then your well-being and mine."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't. I just, I… I couldn't."

"We're going to get married Annie."

"We are."

The conviction in her voice warms his heart even as he swallows. "What if we're not ready?"

"Because of this? That's ridiculous."

"Is it? Really?"

"Of course it is. I'm marrying you because I love you, even with all the time you spend at work and the fact that you can sleep through a nuclear explosion. And I'm even willing to forgive you for liking pineapple on your pizza."

He laughs. "How do you do that?"

"Do what? Forgive you for pineapples?"

"Even when you're the one run ragged, you can still make me feel better."

"It's a gift," she answers. "Now, is someone coming to watch the boys?"

"My mom came by last night, when she found out you and your mom were at The Cottage." And that had been quite the row. Tenley had been livid that AJ had just up and abandoned him without any warning. But AJ didn't have to know that. "She's in the in-law suite. I'm going to wake her up before I go to let her know."

"Good. Can I go back to sleep now?"

"Yes," he says, a smile playing about his lips. "I'm sorry for waking you up."

"Idiot."

"Your idiot."

She laughs again and he revels in the smile. "Yeah. My idiot. Go to work."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

* * *

_I do love having a backlog! And the style means I can update fast as I like. It's a pretty awesome feeling. _

_Thanks to those of you who have taken the time to review. I really, truly and from the bottom of my heart appreciate it. _


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 – Friday**

"You can go home, Mom."

"Nonsense," Tenley Cliff replies with a wave of her hand. "You should hire a nanny."

"Annie never liked the idea of a nanny. She wants to raise her own kids."

"Where is she then?"

The words sucker punch him. "Mom!"

"What? It's an honest question."

"I thought you loved AJ."

"I do. That doesn't mean I like the fact that she just abandoned you."

"She's on vacation with her mother." It was how he'd been describing and explaining why he was left with twin boys at home and the continuing deterioration of his mental state. It sounded a lot better than the true story. "She didn't abandon me."

"But she's not here, working out these problems with you."

"Like you and Dad did?" It was a low blow and the minute the words are out of his mouth his eyes slam shut. "I'm sorry."

"No," Tenley says, the flight deflating out of her. "It's a fair point. Your father and I had our problems, Vaughan but-"

"Save it," Vaughan interrupts tiredly. He's heard this how many times now? But he's been so very proud of how his relationship with AJ turned out. He's always thought it was so different from his parents'. Now, he's not so sure. "She's coming back, Mom."

"Do you know that?" Tenley asks gently.

"I believe that," he argues back. And he wants to believe it, because he can't imagine life without her. He doesn't want to imagine his life without her.

They fall into quiet for a few moments. Then Tenley asks, "Is it really that bad, Vaughan?"

Vaughan runs a hand through his hair. "Dad calls at all hours. Sometimes I don't get home until their ten o'clock feeding."

"Vaughan."

"What am I supposed to say, Mom? I have more to prove than anyone else in that office because I'm not just there as a Cliff. I'm there because I'm good. I want to be there because I'm good. So I go, because what else can I do?"

"You can tell him you're not him. And he is not his father."

"What?"

"Darling, you're not unique in the Cliff line," Tenley says, almost sympathetically. "I've seen this before."

"Then why are you mad at AJ?"

"Because she had the opportunity to do what I always wished I'd done," his mother answers. "She could have talked to you."

"Yeah," Vaughan agrees on a sigh. "She could have. She should have."

But he's been trying so hard to keep from being angry with her. It would be easy, considering. She abandoned him and her boys. She just up and left, without a word, a call or a text. He'd found out from AJ's father. As if he wasn't trying to balance enough already. But then again, that's the point. The point is that they're not good at this. And she'd needed some perspective to help. It's served a dual purpose because he's walking a mile in her shoes while trying to juggle his job and he's starting to see why AJ had fallen apart.

After all, she doesn't seem angry with him. She hasn't once even hinted that this is all his fault and even her family hadn't seemed to truly blame him. He wonders why, because it's always seemed like AJ's family just works. Her parents make sacrifices for each other, even her siblings are willing to give up holidays to lend a hand. He's never met a member of AJ's family who isn't willing to move house and home to make sure they can help another family member.

And here he is, screwing up because he's focusing all his attention on his job and not as much as he'd like on his fiancée and sons, but none of them seem to be turning on him. He's had Gabi call, even Jack and Seth. Calleigh, of course, and no one's ripped a new hole in his hide over the fact that AJ had broken down when he should have seen it. In fact, no one had seemed to even bat an eyelash at the whole ordeal. They'd all been remarkably understanding and hadn't even wanted to listen to his explanations. It had been complete selfless offering.

So he didn't want to be angry with AJ because it was becoming obvious that no one blamed him in the traditional sense of the word. No one was angry with him. And if they were disappointed they were doing a damn good job at hiding it anyway. They were just there, on the sidelines, waiting until he picked up the phone. Even Kate had easily and willingly stayed an extra couple of hours the night before, working with Tenley to get the kids down because Vaughan was, once again, staying late.

"She promised, you know. She promised me she'd make sure you wouldn't become your father," Tenley says suddenly, startling her son from his thoughts. "She promised me she'd make sure that you did better. And yet here you are, working twelve-hour days, leaving your wife at home to raise the children."

Vaughan doesn't bother to argue the semantics. To him, it's just not worth the fight, even though it bothers him that his mother can see so many parallels between his life and his parents'.

"She promised me she wouldn't let it get this far."

"But it has, Mom, and how it's gotten this far is so irrelevant it's hysterical. AJ needs time, I'm giving her time. That, at least, is simple."

"While you take her position and run yourself into the ground. A marriage should be about compromise." She frowns at the look Vaughan shoots her. "Should be. I don't want either of you making the same mistakes your father and I did."

It makes Vaughan pause. Think. "Mom, do you love Dad?"

"I did," Tenley answers quietly, with a conviction that shakes Vaughan to his bones. "With all my heart. He was charming, fun, gorgeous, like you in a lot of ways."

That makes Vaughan shiver.

"But then his father got a hold of him." She looks at him, and he can see the years of pain and misery etched in her eyes. To Vaughan, his mother suddenly seems impossibly old. "You see, sweetheart, our marriage was one of convenience as much as it was one of love. My family, his family, it just made sense. But it means we're a little stuck."

Vaughan swallows. "Mom, has Dad had an affair?"

Tenley shakes her head and tries for a smile. She doesn't quite succeed. "Your father is and has always been married to his job first. And, yes, I would be able to tell. He's utterly terrible at hiding."

Vaughan barks out a laugh and reaches for his mother, wrapping her up in his embrace. "AJ and I will be okay, Mom. We've come too far."

When they pull back, Tenley cups his face in her palms, the same way she used to do when he was just a boy, hugging her because he knew she was having a bad day. "I believe you. I truly do. But Vaughan, promise me. Promise me that if things get bad, if things get to the point where-"

"Mom, no. Just. No." Because he can't go down that path or he'll start doubting himself. He's got two boys and a soon-to-be wife and he just can't doubt himself now. Not when he's come so far.

Because he has doubted himself. As a father, as a husband, because AJ can come off as just perfect. Sure, he knows better, but that doesn't make it any easier for him to stomach sometimes. Her perfect family and her perfect life and her perfect instincts, while he feels like he's floundering every second of the day, and he is absolutely nothing like that. Then they have moments like this, moments where it's so obvious that AJ isn't Superwoman and it always makes him stop. No one is perfect, he reminds himself in moments like this, times where she's sobbing into his shoulder because she's had a bad day, or they've squabbled and made up.

But just because no one's perfect doesn't mean that they can't fight through it together. They're good together, she's good for him and yeah, when he's not buried neck-deep in his father's crap he knows he's good for her too.

So he looks at his mother, putting all of his faith and belief into his eyes. "AJ and I are going to be just fine."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 – Saturday**

Emily finds her daughter on the same swing she's occupied for the past five days. It's been a quiet week, a long week, but looking at AJ, Emily knows that pulling her away had been the right decision. AJ looks calmer, healthier. She looks like she's been sleeping well, eating better and taking her time to enjoy the beautiful things in life.

AJ looks up at the click of the door, smiling at her mother. It's a smile Emily's been missing beneath the layers of tension AJ's been wearing like her favourite sweater.

"How are you?"

It's the same question Emily's asked every day. It's the only question that matters.

"Good," AJ answers quietly, shifting to give her mother some room. "Honestly good."

Emily settles in and AJ curls up against her mother's side like she'd done as a child. Emily takes over pushing the swing, pressing her toes gently against the wood of the deck. "Ready to go home?"

There was a moment, then AJ released a shaky sigh. "No."

"That's okay," Emily promises. While she'd never raised twins, Emily knew exactly what it felt like to be balancing too much. "Have you spoken to Vaughan today?"

"Not yet."

AJ's tone says she's not ready to discuss it, so Emily says nothing. Instead, her had comes up to stroke AJ's hair, soothing and stroking.

"Mom, am I making a mistake?"

Emily hums in question.

"Staying with Vaughan. Am I making a mistake? Have I already made a mistake?"

Emily releases a shaky breath. She's has reservations about Vaughan from the beginning, regardless of the fact that she does truly believe AJ loves him. And there is no doubt in Emily's mind that AJ loves Vaughan fiercely. There is no doubt that AJ would do anything for him, would follow him to the ends of the earth, and despite the current troubles they're having, Emily knows Vaughan would do the same.

"I am. You think I am," AJ says softly, looking out over the lake again. "Mom, I can't- The boys, and Vaughan and-"

"No, sweetheart," Emily protests, kissing her daughter's head. "That's not what I mean."

AJ sniffles.

Emily sighs. "I'm going to be honest with you, brutally honest, okay?"

AJ nods, but there's tension in her body.

"I have always had my reservations, yes. But that's not because of you, honey. Or because of him. I love him like my own, I treat him like my own, the same way I do Landon."

AJ sucks in a deep breath and Emily knows she's willing back tears. Emily also knows that's she's reiterating things her daughter knows. Logically, there's no behavioural pattern to ever make AJ believe Emily doesn't love Vaughan.

"He comes from a different world," Emily goes on. "He comes from a place where boarding schools are the norm and there's never a limit for what you can do."

"That's not him."

"No, you're right. But as much as Jack is mine, you're my first baby and I worry about you. I want you to be happy, all the time. I don't like that he's making you struggle like this."

"Mom-"

"It's not his fault, I know. And I know you're not innocent in all of this either." Emily laughs a little. "You know, your father and I went through something similar."

"You and Daddy?"

"Of course we did. You know your father and I don't have a perfect relationship. I'm surprised you don't remember."

"I was there?"

"You were all there. I thought your dad was working too much. He thought I was crazy. I was stressed between raising three kids under ten and Bumps had just been hospitalized."

"Oh! I remember that!"

Emily chuckles a little. "We thought we'd lost you that night. You can Kate weren't in your beds in the morning."

"Where were we?" Because she can remember her grandfather in the hospital, but she can't remember the specific night her mother is talking about.

"Down in Jack's bed," Emily replies with a laugh. "You could hear us yelling so you went and hid. Scared us half to death."

AJ sighs. "Are you telling me fighting is normal?"

"I'm telling you that perfect doesn't mean you don't fight. And just because you are in a bit of a pickle doesn't mean that I think you're making a mistake. Relationships are about adjusting, honey, compromising. Sure, there's a line, but you have to know that it's up to both of you to make it work. And you have to make sure you're both working together to accomplish it. It's not just up to him and it's not just up to you."

She presses a kiss to her daughter's hair. "But with you, with you and Vaughan- Annie, you give so much. All the time. You don't care who it is, you don't care what they want, if you can do it, you do it. And I am worried, because sometimes you let that get out of hand. You don't stop. You don't know when you put your foot down and when to step back."

"I know," AJ whispers. "I know that."

"Oh, sweetheart, I know you do. And he does too."

"I miss him," AJ admits. "I miss him and the boys."

"Say the word and we can go home."

AJ pauses, thinking and Emily's glad for it. It's not bad enough that AJ's thinking impulsively. "No. I think- I think I'm just going to call him."

"Try Skype," Emily suggests. "Maybe then I can see those precious grandsons of mine."

AJ barks out a laugh. "Mom, I know you love my kids, but never call them precious grandsons."

Emily smiles.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 – Day 6: Sunday

"They're taking over."

AJ laughs on the other end of the phone. "Hello to you too."

"No really. I've been good, AJ. I've been home at six, I've kicked them all out at eight, but _God_."

"Invaded by the BAU Clan."

He runs a hand over his face. "The what?"

Her laughter comes through again. He has to admit that these days have done good things for her. She sounds lighter, she sounds more confident, she sound like the AJ he fell in love with. And he feels like they sound like them.

"The BAU Clan," she says. "It's the nickname our family got… God, ages ago."

"BAU?"

"Yeah. Mom, Dad, Uncle Derek, Aunt Pen, Aunt Jen, Uncle Spencer and Grandpa Dave were all a team at the BAU. Did I not tell you this story?"

"I don't even know what BAU stands for," he answers as he drops to their bed. He's waited until the boys are in bed to call – his turn – so he's got time to himself. He's picked their bed simply because he needs it.

"Holy cow, I really haven't told you this?" She laughs to herself. "BAU is the acronym for Behavioural Analysis Unit. Remember I told you my family worked for the FBI."

He's sitting upright now though. He knows about the BAU. His father's defending a client by tearing apart a BAU profile. "You're serious."

"Of course I'm serious," she says. "My parents chased serial killers for a living until my sister was born. Dad still did for a bit after that and Uncle Spencer still works with the BAU from time to time. How have I not told you this?"

It's scary. Terrifying really. They're supposed to be getting married in a few months and there are things, big things, like the fact that her family worked in the BAU that he doesn't know.

"We suck," he blurts out.

"It's habit," she offers. "We grew up knowing better than to talk about what our parents did. I mean… _serial killers_ Vaughan. My parents didn't even tell me until I was sixteen. And actually, I found out by accident. It was my journalism phase, so I was watching the news all the time and poof, there was Mom, on the screen, talking about a serial killer in Florida. I grilled my father until he spilled the beans." She pauses and he waits. "I think that's why we're all so close. I mean my best friend is Aunt Pen and Uncle Derek's daughter. Chris, Nate and Seth are virtually inseparable. We just… adapted. Because it was easier. We all knew what it felt like, to have a parent leave at three am for three weeks at a time."

"Three weeks?"

"It varied. And we never knew. It depends on the case and it's not like we lived a TV show. Real serial crimes can't be solved in forty-two minutes."

"And you're still so close."

"Well yeah. It's about quality, not quantity. I may not have spent a lot of time with my Mom for a few years, but she always made time for us. We all got our five minutes on the phone and when she was home she'd bake with Kate and I or she and Dad would take Jack to the laser tag place. It was always fun when Jack came home the winner." He can hear the wistfulness in her voice. "I guess… We just… Made time for each other."

Like he's not doing, though she's not accusing him of it. It's kind of the opposite actually, because her mother wasn't there for a chunk of her life and he's been missing parts of his sons'. Yet she's telling him that the amount of time doesn't matter. Like it never has.

"Maybe that's why I'm not mad."

There are days he wonders if they stick together because of this. Because she can read his mind and anticipate what's coming next. "Because you know we have good times when we're together."

"Exactly. Like that Saturday your father was in LA. We took the boys to the park and just hung out under that big tree we both love. That was a good day."

"It was an awesome day."

"Yeah," she says wistfully. "Or my family picnic. When we'd just found out we were pregnant. I don't think you stopped bringing me lemonade."

"You were drinking it," he defends, "and I had no idea what to do. It was my first pregnancy."

"I was not drinking it," she replies with a laugh. "I think I killed Aunt Pen's daisies because I kept pouring it into the garden." Their laughter dies away and then she says, "I didn't know what to do either. I still don't know what to do and they're almost eight months old."

"You're a fantastic mom, Annie."

"And you're a great dad, Vaughan. You are. I can see it. I have seen it."

"Annie-"

"I never once felt like you'd left me alone. Not really. Not down in my bones. I may have… thought about it. Because it was easier to blame you rather than recognize I couldn't even tell you that I was floundering."

There's a part of him that senses déjà vu, like they've been through this conversation before in the last week and that alone keeps him from arguing back. "I have it on good authority that it's the norm with you."

"Doesn't make it right."

"No." He sucks in a deep breath. "But I should have been paying more attention. I watch you all the time and I couldn't see that you were fraying."

"Stalker."

He smiles because this is them. This is what he's missed. Just talking to her. And yeah, maybe these conversations are easier to have over the phone, easier when he can't see her when he can't read her face or see everything she's trying to bury. He knows it's easier to say things to her when he doesn't have to face her. It's a lifetime of being judged that he can't just shrug off.

"So, they've decided it's going to be a boys weekend?"

Vaughan huffs. He's run away to the spare bedroom, leaving Alex and Brad in the more than capable hands of the men and children crowding their living room. "I take it you've been invaded too?"

"It feels less like an invasion when you grow up with it. My first break up, and I mean real breakup, not the little things you go through after you've been dating for a couple of months, my mom kicked my dad and my brothers out. I ended up spending the weekend literally encased in blankets and people while I cried and ate ice cream out of the container. Didn't have to lift a finger for the whole weekend."

He laughs because he can picture it.

"It's how they show that they care," she says quietly when his laughter and her echoing chuckles settle down. "It's how they show that you're not alone. Ever."

"Annie-"

"Sometimes I wonder how I managed to get you," she goes on, steamrolling over him. "Sometimes I wonder how you manage to put up with me. You give so much and I just take and take and take."

"You do not." He's indignant and angry because if there's anyone who just gives in their relationship, it's her. "Tell me you don't believe that. Annie."

The laugh he gets is self-conscious. "Of course I think that, Vaughan. Anything I actually ask for you find a way to get me. Maybe we're going through a rough patch with your job, but if I asked, even if I didn't really mean it, you'd pack the boys up and be here. Simply because I asked."

He growls and runs a hand through his hair, standing to pace. "Annie, all I've done is take. You tolerate my long hours, you haven't said a thing, and I've just been moving along like everything's okay. Like you're handling all of this just fine when you're not and I know you're not Superwoman. I should have known. I shouldn't have had to notice, but I'm selfish, because I have you and I let myself believe that everything was okay and I took- AJ, I took everything. Everything you had and apparently a lot you didn't."

"You took no more than I was willing to give," AJ argues harshly. "Vaughan, it's what I do. It's what I always do. I give and give and give and give and it's bad sometimes. Sometimes I don't know where to stop."

"So it's okay that I just take and take and take? That's ridiculous."

"That's not what I'm saying," she snaps. "What I'm saying is that it's both. It's both of us, it's compromise, it's trying to work this out together. It doesn't matter whose fault it was, if it was anyone's fault at all. What matters is that we work on fixing it, okay?"

He knows she's right. Blame has no place in this situation at this moment. They need a plan. He's no where close to sure what kind of plan and he sure as hell has no idea what it means for them, but he knows they need something. He sighs instead. "When are you coming home?"

"Not sure," she admits. "Sunday at the latest."

Next week. A whole other week. He's not sure he can go another week without her. "Annie."

"It's not easy for me either," she says softly.

His hand comes up to his forehead, fingers rubbing the skin against the bone. He sucks in a deep breath because he knows he has to do better. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too." Her voice is thick and as twisted as it is, it makes his mouth curl slightly. "You should get back. Before they come hunting for you."

He doesn't like it. He wants to stay on the phone with her. He knows her family is downstairs, he knows he's going to get teased mercilessly when he returns. He's not sure he cares.

"Go, Vaughan," she encourages softly. "They don't bite."

"Hard."

"You're such a drama queen."

He doesn't care. For once, he just doesn't care. "I'll call you tonight." His eyes close against the desperation in his voice.

"Yes."

He hopes he's not imagining it in hers.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 – Monday**

AJ rocks in the swing outside the cabin. Well, it's not really a cabin is it, since it can sleep her entire family and significant others. It's her mother's place, from her mother's family, not that her father didn't come from his own cream of the southern crop.

She pushes her toes against the wood, looking out across the lake, waiting with her phone in her lap. When they'd hung up last night, he'd promised to call when he had the boys down. It's inching towards ten and she's starting to get nervous. She can't help it. She's usually with her boys the equivalent of twenty-four hours a day and while she knows this is exactly what she needs, it's very hard to be away from them.

It's also hard to be away from Vaughan.

It has never been a question. She didn't leave because she didn't love him and she didn't really leave because she felt like they were finished. She just… she needed time. She needed space. She needed a few days to reorient herself. And yeah, maybe he needed a few days to walk in her shoes.

She feels guilty, yes, but she doesn't feel like she made a wrong decision. She doesn't feel like she needs to go home.

"Annie?"

AJ looks up to see Gabi's head poke out of the door. "Not yet," she says, even as she scoots over.

Gabi comes to settle beside her best friend. "Are you worried?"

"No," AJ answers. "Actually, I'm kind of proud."

"Proud?"

"Well, he hasn't called except these late night ones for a couple of days now." AJ smiles. "Maybe it's getting easier."

Gabi doesn't say anything for a moment, and she doesn't stop AJ from pushing against the deck like she normally would. "How are you?"

"Still guilty," AJ answers immediately. Gabi is, after all, her best friend and Gabi knows almost too much about her. "A little restless after a week of nothing. I'm used to being constantly busy."

"But good."

"But good," AJ agrees just as her phone begins to ring.

Gabi watches AJ's face light up as she hits the key to accept the call. It warms Gabi's heart. A week in and AJ looks a substantially less harried. Even better, the fact that she takes the call so quickly, without waiting, without pondering, or without thought.

When Gabi'd first heard Aunt Emily was whisking AJ up to The Cabin, she'd been more than worried. She'd seen AJ slipping further and further away. There had been a couple of times where Gabi'd been over for a visit and AJ had absolutely passed out. She'd done it the previous month, at Kate's house. They'd gone looking for her because Brad was starting to fuss and found her dead asleep in the guest room.

This AJ doesn't look like that. The bags are gone from beneath her eyes and her smile is lighter. She looks like she's putting on weight she couldn't afford to lose and the sparkle is back in her eyes.

"Did you leave early?" AJ's asking her fiancée, still absently swinging. Gabi grins, squeezing AJ's shoulder. Her best friend doesn't need her right now and she feels like a bit of a voyeur.

"You what?" AJ inquires as the door closes behind Gabi.

"I worked from home," Vaughan repeats and there's an odd combination of irritation and pride in his voice. "Everything's online, Annie."

"Well I know that," she says with a laugh. "Did you get much done?"

"More than I would in the office," he admits. "I never realized how many times coworkers come to check on me or talk to me or try and butter me up, and then, of course, there's my dad…"

"How did he take your decision to work from home?"

"I've been ignoring his calls, actually," Vaughan admits. "He called me six times while I was putting the boys down for a nap."

"Did Kate come by?"

"Nah. I called her. It was a good day."

AJ smiles. She knows just as well as anyone that not all good days will be like this. It's never quite that black and white. Regardless, she's glad that he's getting some confidence. She knows he loves his boys, he loves her, and she knows he tries to get home for night feedings and bedtime. She's glad he's had a good day.

"I'm going to try and work at home again tomorrow. I have a couple of factums to finish and submit and two case summaries for a senior partner on a fraud case."

"Come work here."

She surprises herself when she says it, even though it's not a terrible idea. They have access up here, a necessity during her parents' working years, so he could. And she could have her boys. All of them.

"What?"

"We have access," she says, warming to the idea. "You could do it. We could spend a week, you, me and the boys."

"My dad'll kill me."

AJ tries not to blow out her breath. Of course. "Yeah. Stupid idea."

"What do I need to pack?"

Now it's her turn to be surprised. "What?"

"For the boys. I can't say I've ever packed two infants for an overnight before."

"Vaughan, your dad-"

"He can work with it." She hears a heavy sigh. "My family comes first, Annie. It should always come first. I shouldn't be working twelve-hour days at the office."

"No," she agrees, looking down at her toes and the dark-stained wood beneath. "I shouldn't have let you start working twelve-hour days."

"So I'll pack up the boys first thing in the morning."

"Want me to e-mail you a list?"

"Of everything you can think of. Town's not that far if I remember right, so if we forget something, we can always just grab it."

AJ breathes in slowly. "You're really going to come?"

"Yeah," he replies. "Good a place as any, really."

"My mom wanted to head home tomorrow," she says. "It'll be just us."

"Think you can handle just us?"

She barks out a laugh, the lightest she's felt in months. "I don't care if I can handle it. I miss you."

"I miss you too, AJ. So much."

Her body warms. "Get your rear up here, Cliff."

"First thing," he promises.

AJ grins because she knows he means it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 – Tuesday**

Emily waits on the front porch of The Cottage while Vaughan unloads three suitcases, his briefcase and the baby bag from the trunk. She's going to have words with him before she heads home. She has to.

"Need a hand?"

AJ already has the boys inside, just wallowing in their presence. While Emily is the first to adamantly argue that the time away was exactly what AJ needed, as a mother, she knows what it's like to see your children again. She knows the overwhelming love, the tears that threaten to spill, and she's not above taking advantage of that.

"Thanks," Vaughan says, and it's obvious to Emily that he's wary. She leads the way up the stairs, into the room AJ's claimed as hers.

"The playpens are still in the car-"

"Vaughan."

His eyes flutter closed. Emily catches it out of the corner of her eye. He's anticipated this.

"This is unacceptable," she says quietly and his eyes fly open again. She catches the tightening of his jaw too, but she's not finished. "I've told AJ this already."

She sees his jaw relax, probably in surprise.

"A relationship is about working together. No one knows that more than Aaron and I do. We haven't had an easy marriage and we've had a go at each other more than once. That's all normal. It's not supposed to be perfect, Vaughan, but you are supposed to work together."

She holds up a hand when he goes to open his mouth. "I am more than aware that my daughter shares some of the blame. I am more than aware that she can be stubborn and closed off. I am aware that she feels like she has to do everything on her own. I am also aware of the fact that you've let your father control your life. You've let him bully and boss you around and for what? So you can have a spot in his firm? Vaughan, if you really want to be a lawyer, there are a million firms out there for you to choose from. And yes, choose."

He blinks, a little surprised in her faith in him and his abilities.

"You are not, by any extent of the imagination, required to work under your father. And if it comes to that, each member of this family has connections. We've been in law enforcement. Aaron was a prosecutor, and maybe it was a long time ago, but that doesn't mean we can't put out feelers. At the end of the day, all of this is entirely up to you."

"Why?" he manages to choke out.

Emily steps closer, her face softening. "God, Vaughan, you're family. As much as Annie and those boys." She pulls him into her arms, into that maternal embrace that he's come to almost rely on. Emily gives excellent hugs. "You're stuck with us and we fight for our own."

He laughs, because it sounds clichéd, and Emily's grinning when she releases him.

"Now. I'll pop the playpens in the door and lock up. You go find Annie."

He presses a kiss to her cheek, mostly because he can, grinning like a little boy. She laughs at him, indulgent, and he realizes with startling clarity that he is part of this family. They've adopted him completely and it's in the way Emily looks at him, like he's one of her own boys going through a particularly difficult stage. "You're something else, Mrs. Hotchner."

It's her turn to laugh as she heads for the door. He goes off in search of his wife, finding her with a son on each hip, looking out over the lake.

"You're going to go swimming in there," she's murmuring to them. "Jump off that dock and into Daddy's arms. Or climb that tree over there like your uncles did."

"Or camping trips in the backyard."

She spins, but she's smiling and easily relinquishes one twin to his grip while his other arm slides around her waist. She echoes the touch and for the first time in over a week he truly feels like he's at home.

"You've been camping?"

"Once or twice," he says, pressing his lips to her temple just because he can. "Classic camping too, before you get all smartass about it."

She laughs and he grins wider because it's the happiest he's heard her, including her days up here. She sounds more carefree, more relaxed than she did, even on the phone. This week really has been good for her.

"So?" he asks against her head. "What have you been doing this week?"

"Sleeping," she answers immediately. "Swimming. Napping."

"Lazy."

"Very." She shifts, turning her head so she can press a gentle kiss against his jaw. "You made out okay?"

"I missed you," he admits against her forehead, "But we found a happy medium." He pulls back. "Did you know Alex doesn't scratch at me in the middle of a night terror?"

"I'd wondered," she admits. "A couple of weeks ago I just brought him into bed with me rather than leave him whimpering in the crib because I was so tired and I didn't know what else to do. I put him right up against you so I was sure he wasn't going anywhere when I climbed back in. He stuck his thumb in his mouth and dropped right back to sleep."

Guilt comes seeping back and he rubs his hand over her back. "You never told me."

"No. And I should have."

He's not surprised at the idea that she seems so willing to admit to that now. Once she's worked everything out in her head, AJ's always more than happy to share.

"I don't think it ever really dawned on me that he could be having night terrors because of you. Which sounds wrong and I don't-"

He kisses her gently because okay, the statement hurts, but he understands what she's getting at. Plus, he doesn't want to fight with her, not really, so he doesn't want to get angry at a statement she just accepts as fact. "Let's see what he's like while we're here. Then we can think about it."

She leans against him and they watch the lake for a moment, the boys shockingly calm now that they have both parents' attention. "You know, I can't even be mad," she says, reluctantly sliding her arm from around him to shift Brad's weight. "This whole thing is my fault as much as it is yours."

"I wanted to be mad too," he admits. "Up and leaving without a note, no warning, no preparation when we have twins at home."

"I wanted to bring them with me," she offers, almost as a truce. "Mom refused."

Vaughan imagines it would have ripped her heart out. "It's done you good."

She tilts her head to stick out her tongue.

He laughs. "No really. I hadn't noticed it, but you look really good." He unwinds his hand to cup her cheek, his thumb stroking beneath her eye. "No more bags. And you've put weight on."

"I hadn't even realized I was losing it, really," she says, her eyes fluttering closed. "Vaughan?"

"Hm?"

"Think my mom was awesome enough to set up the playpens?"

The question takes him off-guard. "No idea. Why?"

"Because I haven't seen you for a week," she says, voice low. "And I've missed you."

Heat floods his body, and a piece of him wishes he wasn't holding Alex. "I've missed you too."

She hums, leaning in to press her lips to his jaw, his neck and his ear. He feels her breath float over his skin as she whispers, "First one ready gets the top."

It stuns him still for a moment as he watches her move with surprising grace and speed, even with a kid on her hip, towards the back door of The Cottage. He whoops out a laugh that makes her stop at the door, turning and offering him a wink.

"Come on, Cliff! We've got a week to make up for."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 – Wednesday**

"Hey. You want dinner in here?"

Vaughan looks up to find AJ in the doorway. He's commandeered one of the handful of offices on the main floor, spreading out over the wide desk. He opens his mouth as she looks at him expectantly then pauses. He looks down at the memo he's drafting, then back up at her. "No."

It stings that she looks surprised. Then she tilts her head to the side. "It's ready then." She chews her lip.

"What is it?"

"I haven't fed the boys yet either."

He doesn't quite know what she's hinting at and pushes himself up from the seat. His back cracks uncomfortably and he hears her hiss in sympathy. "Want Brad or Alex?"

He realizes he's said the right thing when she beams. "I don't care."

"Give me Brad," he says coming around the desk. He grasps her hand when he's close enough. "Kid doesn't like the carrots."

"He likes the carrots just fine," AJ argues.

"Nope. Chip off the old block that one. Mom says I'd throw the carrots around the room rather than eat 'em." He smiles and kisses the side of her head. "Now the peas. Peas are gold."

AJ laughs. "We're talking about baby food."

"You think those boys don't have discerning pallets? You're an awesome mom, Annie, but I'm telling you, Brad hates carrots."

She huffs out a breath of irritation, as if she truly hadn't known that. "He always eats them when I'm there."

"Do you see the look on his face when he does it? I mean, Alex inhales the stuff. Not Brad."

Finally, she offers him a self-deprecating kind of smile. "I hadn't noticed."

That surprises him. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm not making two different meals. I usually just feed them out of the same one. Neither of them ever eat a whole jar so I didn't think much of it."

"You're kidding," he says on a laugh. "I noticed something Super-Mommy missed." Her face falls a little and he sighs. "Too early to joke?"

"Just a bit," she murmurs with a sigh of her own. "I'm sorry."

They'd talked long into the early hours of the morning the previous night. They know they still have things to work out. They need a better way to handle things when he's working late, and a better way to handle communication when she's starting to find everything just too much. Still, there's a tension there, one that they're riding the edge of, both afraid that one wrong twist and they'll topple again.

When they step into the great room, just off the kitchen, they hear the telltale squabbling of two hungry boys. From the looks of things, Brad is trying to wrestle a panda into submission while Alex winds up with a stuffed dog, ready and aiming.

"Hey now," Vaughan says, his low timbre carrying through the great room. He lets AJ go to pluck the dog from Alex's grasp at the same moment AJ reached for the actual kid. He drops the dog back into the playpen and turns to find Brad watching him, his lower lip sticking out.

"No carrots," he promises in his son's ear when he's lifted the little body from the pen. "I made Mommy promise."

He's not entirely sure if Brad understands, but when he looks over, Brad's smiling. At him. It's not the first time, but Vaughan's heart swells as if it is. He bounces the kid as he heads to the kitchen. The oven's on, but AJ's got Alex seated on the island, on hand on his lap as she reaches for the fridge. She pouts when he pulls the door open, balancing Brad in one arm.

"They're getting too heavy," she says. "And Alex'll make a dive for the fridge if I'm holding him."

"Uh huh," he replies, a gentle rebuke in his tone. He almost takes it back when Brad lunges but Vaughan, in a move that feels completely natural despite the fact he's never done it before, grabs and swings until Brad's under his other arm and Vaughan's got him by the hips. He hears AJ gasp, but a second later Brad's laughter rings loud through the kitchen. Vaughan grins, wide and proud, offering AJ a wink as he pulls two jars from the fridge. She takes them when he's close enough and he rights Brad, sitting him on the counter beside his brother with a stern look. "No jumping," he tells the eight-month-old. "No jumping out of Daddy's arms."

Brad sobers with his father and again, Vaughan has no idea if the kid understands, but his little head bobs.

"Good catch." AJ's voice is breathless. There had been a split second where neither of them had been really sure if Vaughan was going to keep Brad from hurting himself.

"Thanks." He props his hip against the counter, keeping Brad from falling, as he pops open the two jars. He hands one to AJ and looks down at the one he keeps. "Looks like we hit the jackpot, buddy," he says turning his attention back to his son. "We scored peas today."

He can't remember the last time it had been like this. He can't remember the last time they'd managed to feed the boys side-by-side, each with their own strategy. Sure enough, Brad cleans out half the jar of peas easily enough and he looks over to find that Alex has done the same for half a jar of carrots. He smirks at AJ and she rolls her eyes as she hands him a cloth to clean up Brad's messy face.

"Yeah, yeah. So no more carrots for Brad."

Vaughan grins.

* * *

_This is the last one that's fully written. I know I've been kind of terrible at consistent updates. Life's been crazy hectic. I'll see what I can do over the weekend to add more to this (and Chris' Tale, because really, there's like one chapter left there). _

_Thanks for the reviews! They make me smile. I love that there are people who are just in love with these characters as I am. It makes the work that I put into these despite the fact that they're not the main characters so totally worth it. _


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